Promises

 

‘Too long a sacrifice; can make a stone of the heart…'

From the terrace of her house at Phulporagaon,Sandhya could see the tall palm trees waving in the distance. Her father coughed inside the room. Runu had not called for a long time. But again why should she? Sandhya only asked her for money. She could not blame her daughter. But only Rs 500 at the bank. How had her life turned into this?

Life had promised her so many things. The love marriage to Sushil,a brilliant student. The sojourn to America. Sushil’s exciting career. The birth of Runu. Everything glittered. The promises flowed…

But even then…there were dark undertones which she brushed under the surface,so impatient that her perfect,shiny life would not spin out of control.

Even then…it was she who had slaved at four jobs to put Sushil through his post graduate course…her parents had sold a part of their land to send them both to the land of milk and honey.

Even then…

 The return to India with baby Runu. She was run down and easily tired. She needed some help at home. But her mother-in- law dictated,” A wife who stays at home needs no maid”.

They wanted her to work.

They wanted her to bring in money.

Sushil said nothing.

They rarely allowed her to visit her parents.

Her in- laws were highly educated people.

But they were greedy for money.

Sandhya had enough. She refused to work anymore. She concentrated on bringing up little Runu.They moved to a luxury apartment. Sandhya hoped to be happy.

But Sushil was indifferent. He had always been. He had never cared to remember anniversaries or birthdays. He has never brought her a gift. Ever.

He seemed to think he had bestowed a favour on her by marrying her.

Sandhya toiled on. Runu grew up and went to study abroad. Sushil lost his job and was not inclined to get another.

Their flat was mortgaged to the hilt. Both of them moved in with her ailing parents to secure a roof over their heads. Sushil was adamant. He would not look for a job. No company was good enough for his brilliance.

The jewelry went.Her mother’s too. They could not send money to Runu anymore. Their daughter had to drop her studies and start working. Sandhya also begged her for money.Runu did the best that she could.

Sandhya sighed. What happened to all that life had promised her? Medical expenses,day to day costs mounted till she was left with this measly Rs 500 in the bank…

But…

She would not work anymore…no,not she.She would not take up a job or a start a business. She was so very tired.

But she wanted…ah she wanted. All the jewelry that she had lost,a bungalow to call a home,maids to run around her, a marble fountain,luxury,riches comfort….

She wanted all that life had promised her…she demanded all that life had promised her…

A man who was not impotent.

Sushil had never been interested in the physical side of marriage.

But she…she had starved for a touch,a caress,a hug…all these barren years…

There were men all around her now. Uncouth men,greedy men. Who would pick away all her flesh and expose the bones beneath. Men who would rot her core. But she did not realise …

They were willing to give her money. She would pay them back of course,she promised herself. But she could repair the house,lay in renovations,help her child…

At what price,at what price murmured the wind sighing in the trees. But she could not or would not hear…

 She would start living again…

She had given so much so long. What value did all that ever have for anyone?

What value did she have?

Even her parents looked at her as a mere drudge for them.

She would not be a drudge anymore.

Now she would take. Take and grab all that life had promised her.

Why not?

She would pay. But she would take. All the baubles,all the glitter that life had once held out to her...