Bhanumati and Duryodhana

 

Bhanumati: An hour yet for the sun to rise

A day that Fate awaits.

The soldiers sleep,with weapons stilled

A night that is too quiet.

But if I could relive the past

The events-minutes and years-

I would not change a word of it

Nor deny a single tear,

I will not bow to destiny

Nor live in coward fear.

The weapons shine-the mace reflects

The glow of the morning sun,

Faithful friend by my husband’s side

In the many battles he’s won.

Ah! Today strike for victory,

Avenge the Kaurava side,

Today I’m not the Kuru Queen,

I am but a soldier’s wife.

The arrows polished gleam anew

Slivers of the sun

The armour sparkles silver bright

The day has begun.

And here I sit in silken robes

And rubies around my neck

Pearls clasp my arms in rows

And gold glitters on my wrists

As  shining bright as the armour

As deadly and as keen.

My senses,sharpened for war,awake

As another day breaks.

The armour sparkling silver bright

Reflects my mirrored image,

A Queen in robes regally clad

A Queen not lacking in courage.

Who would dare to dash

The vermillion blazing through my hair?

All our warriors dead and gone

Seem to be clustered here.

My brothers-in-law- all ninety nine-

Will gather around no more

Lying on the battlefield

In streams of pain and gore.

Grandsire Bhishma,Guru Drona-

Karna,my husband’s friend-

Have gone to a warrior’s death

My husband stands alone at the end.

And yet I dare to stand and laugh

The Tandava dances in my brain

I do not believe in defeat

I do not believe in death

I will have my victory

And reign as Empress

Again.

Duryodhana: Brave words,my Queen.

Braver than any,I would dare to say.

For truth to tell

My heart-it aches today.

The grand army once I had

Lies bleeding in the fields

The brothers and friends that once were mine

Now move in different climes.

Oh Karna! Bravest of them all

My truest friend,my faith-

No longer marches by my side

But lies with severed head…

The crawling vultures and beasts of prey

Encircle the noble dead…

And Dushashana’s heart’s blood

Has washed Panchali’s hair…

I am alone today-as never before,

Not even in the womb.

Of Gandhari’s hundred sons I remain

The only one.

Bhanumati: You are not alone when you have

Fire and flame and sword.

Fire in your limbs

Flame in your heart

And in your hand-the flashing sword.

You are never alone while you have

Justice on your side.

The eldest son of Dhritarashtra

Does not with fear abide.

You are not alone

When you have to inspire

Your men with fighting vim,

You are never alone,my lord,

You have a kingdom to win.

Duryodhana:No man,no demon,nor woman yet,

Has ever dared to say

That Duryodhana was afraid

In this life or the next.

But you have always told me

All you wanted to say.

So fasten my armour at the back

My scabbard at my side,

And tell me,my Queen

Do you think we have

Justice on our side?

Bhanumati: Dhritarashtra was the eldest born

But my father-in-law was blind

Pandu ruled in his stead

Till he left for self-exile.

I have said in speeches long and

I will say so again.

Pandu was the Regent for a blind king

How could his son be the heir?

As Dhritarashtra’s eldest son

The throne of Hastinapura belongs to you.

And never by any trick of fate or

The counsel of men

To Yudhishtira.

This is right and just and fair

This is our destiny.

Duryodhana: Arrogance breeds enemies

And so does a sense of pride –

Bhanumati: Kings should not be weaklings

Nor strive for popularity.

But rule with an iron hand

And sincerity.

You are the king the Kuru race

Should rejoice to have had.

During your reign

Our coffers were full,trade thrived,

Hastinapura shone with a leading light

In the world of men.

Duryodhana may be labelled as arrogant

With more than his share of pride,

But as a ruler,my lord,

You surpassed all previous men,

And I say with clarity

My words echo clear and true

Hastinapura may have other kings

But never a ruler like you.

Duryodhana: But sometimes a doubt

Speaks within myself,

Varanavati,the game of dice and

Draupadi’s humiliation-

Did my sons,brothers and friends all fall

A prey to massive ambition?

Bhanumati: Ambition is the crown

That makes a ruler great.

You safeguarded your inheritance.

Was it wrong to employ the means?

I would have done more for my rights

And I am the daughter of a long line of  kings…

Duryodhana: My chariot’s waiting at the door

It is time for us to part.

These doughty words of yours,my Queen,

I’ll carry in my heart…

I believe that I did

What any Kshatriya king would do

To guard his people and his land

From any kind of foe

Even if the final end-is Kurukshetra…

What I did to Draupadi torments me,

She was my cousins’s wife

A Princess of our very own race,

She was a Kuru bride…

Winning the game momentarily,

Threw dust into my eyes…

Bhanumati: Past and present entwine

They are never separate

Flags for war unfurl

There is no time to waste…

But I have to ask-as the Queen

Of the Kaurava scion

If your wife was dragged to court

Amidst raucous cheers

What would you have done?

Duryodhana: You would be a widow

Before anyone touched a hair of your head,

You would be a widow

Or you would be dead!

I would not have sat like a statue

While my wife was mauled about.

I despised my cousins for that then

And I despise them now…

Bhanumati: To drag a women into the open court

Is not done by men.

It is the work of cowards and fools

You are not kin to them.

To have enmity with the husbands

And wreck vengeance on the wife

Is not the work of Kshatriya men-

For this you are despised.

Or were you beguiled then

By Draupadi’s fine eyes

And your thoughts were of taking

Your cousins’ s Queen to wife?

Duryodhana: I did it for no reason but

To stir my cousins’s blood,

But there they sat-like graven images-

While their wife was dragged to court.

Not warriors but worse than women are they,

And they wield the mace and sword.

By God-I was a coward then

But not more than those five

And I was never beguiled by

Draupadi’s golden eyes.

Bhanumati: You lie when you say that,

I know the ways of men

But I was happier with my husband-

Than Panchali-with five of them…

God knows  I never liked her

Our positions were so diverse

But I wept the day she was dragged

Into the open court

And her husbands sat like stones.

And for a moment I forgot

That I was the wife of Duryodhana.

For a moment I hated the whole of mankind

The Kaurava and the Pandava race

And all that was mine.

Duryodhana: You told me that,that very day

The flaw in my victory,

Your eyes flashed tiger fire and hate

And I could not drown out your furious spate

The thunder in your eyes…

I have many consorts

But I have only one true wife

And I was afraid-for I knew

That I had gone too far

And I knew as no one knew

The determination that you are

And I was afraid that I would lose

The one woman I cared for…

Bhanumati: Battledrums shudder the walls of the tent

It’s time for you to go

We may talk of yesteryear

Minute by precious minute

But Time will not wait for us

Anymore.

Your horses paw the ground outside

A war waits to be fought

And by the evening of this day

A victory will be won…

Duryodhana: I cannot see enough of you

Time seems to be so short.

I cannot say in one embrace

All that is in my heart.

But you know whatever I want to say

You always knew-you know…

And there you glitter in the sunlight

My armour catches your image,

On my weapons place once more

Your touch of love and courage.

Farewell,my Queen,I’m off to fight

To win or lose this war.

Farewell,my heart,a battle like this

Has never been waged before.

Bhanumati: And there he goes,he fades

so fast.

The rushing horses move like wind-

The chariots-a blaze of light-

He has gone so soon.

To fight,to win,to victory!

(To die,my love,my king)-

While I stand,hands clenched

Willing victory

And I also realize

The terrible inevitability.

Would that I were a warrior,

And not a Kuru bride,

Would that I were a warrior

And fighting by his side.

I wait with savage persistence

I wait for victory.

And knowledge gnaws into my brain

And images begin to form-

The Kaurava women clad in white

Amidst Kurushetra’s ruins.

I wish I could have ripped Kunti’s womb

Before it bore her sons

To devastate my entire clan.

Though I have not shed a single tear

My heart howls for my sons.

Slain in battle,my children fell,

I did not scream aloud.

I am a Kshatriya woman first

A mother afterwards…

My daughters-in-law crowd around,

Wraiths in widow white,

We were defeated by trickery

Never in fair fight.

And as I cast a glance around

I read Vasudeva Krishna’s mind

The destruction of the Kuru race,

A new age for mankind…

When my husband falls in battle

By treachery unseen,

I will not be here to see

Draupadi made Queen.

Oh,they will treat me with gentleness,

With kindness and with care,

But I will not be a cipher in the palace

Where once I reigned supreme.

I will not end my days

In weary widow white

But blaze out in a sheet of flame,

Flame in crimson light…

The Queen of Duryodhana

Will not bow to lesser men

And in our joint pyres

We’ll ride out to the skies,

Speeded by leaping saffron flames

A glow of golden light

A glory in a royal life

And in a royal death…

I would not change a line of my life

I would not stamp out a word,
I have been wife to one of the greatest men

To live in this age on earth.

I do not care for history,

I do not care for men,

We did what we had to do,

We’d do the same again,

To go out in glory

Is better than a life of shame…

The battle sounds burst in my ears

I pause-remembering,

The years move aside with a sigh,

I see the day I came here-

To Hastinapura- a bride…

While my eyes strain to see the battle,

A sound,a cry,a din,

A rush of speed, a clamour of arrows,

maces shuddering,

And I stand by and calmly wait

For the war to end,

The sun to set…

 

From

Kurukshetra